184. Presented to Secretary Pei at the Palace Gates | Qian Qi

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English translation

Original Chinese text

English translation

In the second month yellow orioles fly through the Shanglin park; in the spring capital the palace precincts lie in deep morning shade.

Shanglin and the forbidden precincts are Han names for Tang palaces. The first four lines are all spring in the palace grounds — and the man being addressed hides inside these scenes.

Original Chinese text

English translation

The bells of Changle Palace fade away beyond the flowers; the willow color of Dragon Pool deepens in the rain.

These are Qian Qi's most celebrated lines: the bell sound has its far edge, the willow color its depth — sound and color given the layered distances of the court. Beyond the flowers, in the rain: spirit carried in the intangible.

Original Chinese text

English translation

The mild spring sun cannot scatter the regret of my broken road; toward the heavens I have long carried a heart that would hold up the sun.

Holding up the sun borrows Cheng Yu's dream of mounting heaven to raise the sun — the loyal subject's emblem. A broken road against a sun-holding heart: the whole gap between his situation and his mind set in two lines.

Original Chinese text

English translation

Ten years of presenting rhapsodies and still no recognition; in shame I face your fine-hatted hairpin with this head of white.

Presenting rhapsodies means submitting literary work to the court for advancement. The fine hairpin is Secretary Pei's ornament — the close sets two fates side by side: his pin of office at the palace gates, my white hair still on a broken road.

赏析 · Commentary

句句恭维,字不在人:求荐信的修辞术 · Praise in Every Line, the Man Never Named: the Rhetoric of a Letter Asking for Favor

这是一首投赠干谒诗——落第或未遇的文人写给朝中权要,希望得到援引。它的写法成为千古典范:前四句一个字不提裴舍人,全是宫苑景物,但每一个景物都是裴舍人的日常——上林的莺、紫禁的晓阴、长乐的钟、龙池的柳,都是舍人随侍宫禁时眼中所见。评家谓之「句句在景,字字在人」:恭维到不露痕迹,因为夸的不是人,是人所处的世界。后四句转到自己:穷途、白发、十年未遇——姿态放得极低,却无一句摇尾乞怜,凭的是颈联捧日心三字的气骨:我求的不是官,是为君用世。

This is a poem of patronage — an unrecognized man of letters addressing power at court, hoping for a hand up — and its method became the model for the ages: four lines that never once name Secretary Pei, all palace scenery, yet every item his daily world — orioles of Shanglin, morning shade of the precincts, bells of Changle, willows of Dragon Pool, the sights along a secretary's attendance at court. Critics call it every line scenery, every character the man: praise with no trace of flattery, because what is praised is not the person but the world he moves in. The last four lines turn to the self — broken road, white hair, ten years unrecognized — the posture low, yet not one line fawning; what holds it up is the backbone of a heart that would hold up the sun: I ask not for office but to be of use to my sovereign.

「长乐钟声花外尽」:声音的远近 · The Bells Fade Beyond the Flowers: the Distance of a Sound

这一联与王维「漠漠水田飞白鹭」并称中唐写景的巅峰,妙处在把不可见的东西(钟声)写出了空间属性:钟声从长乐宫传出,穿过层层花树,在花外某处渐渐散尽——一个尽字给了声音一个终点。下句对以柳色雨中深:颜色本无深度,一个深字让雨里的柳色有了可测的层次。两句都是通感:听觉景深化,视觉纵深化。宋人评钱起「体格新奇,理致清赡」,指的正是这种在虚处用力的写法——不写柳如何绿、钟如何响,只写它们到达与消退的方式。

This couplet, set beside Wang Wei's hazy paddies and flying egrets, marks the summit of Middle Tang scene-painting, its wonder the spatial treatment of the invisible: the bell sound leaves Changle Palace, threads the layered flowering trees, and fades away at some point beyond them — the single word fades gives a sound a terminus. The answer line gives the willow color depth in the rain — a word of depth for something colorless in depth. Both are synaesthetic: hearing given perspective, sight given distance. Song critics called Qian Qi's manner fresh in form and lucid in substance, exactly this force applied to the intangible — never how green the willow, how loud the bell, only the manner of their arriving and passing away.

捧日心:求荐诗的骨气问题 · A Heart That Would Hold Up the Sun: the Question of Backbone in a Patronage Poem

干谒诗最难的不是恭维,是恭维时保住自己。钱起的解法是颈联的转折:阳和(皇帝的恩泽)虽不散我的穷途之恨,但我心里始终是捧日之忠——处境可以狼狈,人格不倒。捧日典出三国程昱:少年时梦见登上泰山捧日,后来果然成为魏国重臣。钱起用这个典,等于暗示自己未遇只是暂时,忠心与才具都在。对比杜甫「朝扣富儿门,暮随肥马尘」的自嘲,钱起选择的是昂着头的乞援——这正是大历十才子之首的写法:连求人,句子也必须漂亮。

The hard part of a patronage poem is not the flattery but keeping oneself intact while flattering. Qian Qi's solution is the turn of the third couplet: the mild sun of favor does not scatter the regret of my broken road, yet my heart has always held the sun — the situation may be shabby, the person unbowed. The allusion is Cheng Yu of the Three Kingdoms, who as a youth dreamed of mounting Mount Tai to hold up the sun, and grew into Wei's great minister. To use it is to hint that non-recognition is temporary: the loyalty and the talent are both present. Set against Du Fu's self-mockery at rich men's gates at morning, behind fat horses' dust at dusk, Qian Qi asks for help with his head up — the manner of the first of the Ten Talents of Dali: even in asking, the sentences must stay beautiful.

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